March 21, 2011 § 2 Comments
They represent my struggle. They represent my strength. ~Me
Law school sucks! Sorry, there is just no other way to put it. What makes it suck more is when your freedom of expression (i.e. individuality) is hampered as a result. Of course, now that I am a lawyer practicing in Fayetteville, NC, I understand that my alma mata, in voicing concern with my stylistic choices, was simply trying to prepare me for what I would face in the real world. So what is the faux pas freedom of expression I’ve engaged in . . .
I HAVE LOCS! Some of you may know them as “Dreadlocks.” Screw that! There is absolutely nothing dreadful about my hair. Hence, the shortening of my choice of hair style to just locs.
I came into law school with natural hair. That is, I did not use chemicals to alter the texture of my hair. Most of the time, I wore an afro. Sometimes I would wear braids or twist. During my second year, I decided to embrace the tight coils that my hair often created on its own. One of the first comments I received when declaring that I was locing my hair (because in my early stages of locing, it just looked like I had twist), was whether I was considering a career at a firm. Well, truth be told, I wasn’t, but even if I was, if a firm is unwilling to hire me because of the grade, texture and stylistic choices I make with my hair, then I am unwilling to work there!
Making the decision to loc is not easy. When most folks think of locs, they think of a chain such as this . . . Bob Marley, pot, rebel, Rastafarian, slacker, etc. Well, as much as I enjoy Bob Marley, and consider myself a bit of a rebel, I am not a pothead, and I am a Christian. I am also . . . (DUN, DUN, DUN) a lawyer. That’s right, people who wear locs are successful business types with expensive ass degrees from private schools.
There are 0, count it 0 other attorneys in this city with locs. The word on the street is that the one guy who did have locs fell prey to the pressure and cut his off. I refuse to conform! When I walk into court (most of the time to observe for now because we have local rules that take some getting used to) all eyes are on me. In fact, one morning, I walked into the lawyers only area behind the courtrooms (exiting a courtroom) and was chased down by a bailiff. “Can I help you?” he barks with his hands on his assault a black person belt. “Excuse me?” I reply wearing WTF on my face. “You can’t be back here if you aren’t a lawyer.” “Well, good news for you sir! I am a lawyer. Were you going to arrest me?” I proceed to fire off questions to him in rapid succession, none of which he is able to respond to because his face is still on the floor. He walked away, likely still in awe that I, yes, the chick with the locs, was a lawyer. FFFFFFF you and the bus you rode in on!
While this moment was as heartbreaking as it was entertaining, I consider it one giant leap for nappy girls everywhere. Do not underestimate us because we make the choice not to introduce chemicals into our world. We can run with the rest, and indeed the best of them. So the next time you see someone with locs, take off your cap of ignorance, and don’t make assumptions about them. Each one, teach one.
“I believe many Black women experience a visual oxymoron when they see long locked hair. It can’t be real because everyone knows that nappy hair doesn’t grow long enough to hang, it only grows out, as in an afro. Plus, the long hair fantasy…is all about long, straight hair or braid extensions tricked up to look like straight hair. Not locs. So when women see waist-length locs they see a comb and a dream: if they can comb it out and make it straight, they can get to the promised land.” ~Lonnice Brittenum Bonner
March 15, 2011 § Leave a comment
The movie was exactly what I thought it would be . . . until it wasn’t.
The movie begins with a protagonist, David Norris, that you want to route for. As expected, a young woman, Elise, becomes his love interest after a brief encounter in the men’s restroom where David is preparing his concession speech in after losing the 2006 election for NY senator. The two have an instant connection that is disrupted by security chasing Elise down. We see David running to catch a bus and get the impression that a stranger is supposed to make him spill his coffee before he makes it. The stranger, Harry, doses off and David makes in on the bus. As fate, or not fate, would have it, Elise is on the bus. This time, David gets Elise’s number. He has been thinking about her since the night they met. Elise may quite an impression with her “be yourself and people will love you” speech. In fact, it is that speech, and David’s adherence to its tenants that end up making him a forerunner in the 2010 election.
In any event, through a series of adventures, plot twists, and some edge of your seat moments, we learn that “the chairman” has a plan for David, and it does not include Elise. In fact, The Chairman has dispatched “The Adjustment Bureau” to ensure that the two never cross paths again. David is told by a member of the AB, in a rather stern talking to, that he is never to mention the existence of the AB or to attempt to see Elise again, or he will be reset. However, David’s will powers, and some other intervening force, causing the pair to keep running into each other.
Harry, the stranger, had evidently been assigned to David since his birth, and had some sympathy for David’s plight to spend the rest of his life with Elise. Later in the movie, David asks Harry if he is an angel, to which Harry responds, “we have been called that.” Honestly, that was my first clue that this movie had strong Christian undertones. I never would have guessed by the previews. Anyway, “the chairman” (read GOD) is not pleased with the ABs inability to keep David and Elise apart, so he sends in “the big gun,” Thompson.
In the middle of a conversation with Thompson, David asks “What ever happened to free will?” Thompson responds:
We actually tried free will before. After taking you from hunting and gathering to the height of the Roman empire, we stepped back to see how you’d do on your own. You gave us the dark ages for five centuries until finally we decided we should come back in. The Chairman thought that maybe we just needed to do a better job with teaching you how to ride a bike before taking the training wheels off again. So we gave you raised hopes, enlightenment, scientific revolution. For six hundred years we taught you to control your impulses with reason. Then in nineteen ten, we stepped back. Within fifty years you’d brought us world war one, the depression, fascism, the holocaust and capped it off by bringing the entire planet to the brink of destruction in the Cuba missile crisis. At that point the decision was taken to step back in again before you did something that even we couldn’t fix.
WOW. I guess I had never looked at the evolution of humanity in that light. I sat in the theatre thinking of all the times I defied what was obviously a path set in motion by forces beyond my control (read GOD). I felt guilty, but thoughtful. I question God all the time. However, when all is said in done, I look back and see what all the trouble was for . . . always something greater.
However, this Christian did not lose hope in some version of free will. The movie’s final line, spoken by Harry, the angel, is illuminating:
“Most people live life on the path we set for them, too afraid to explore any other. But once in a while people like you come along and knock down all the obstacles we put in your way. People who realize free will is a gift you never know how to use until you fight for it … I think that’s the chairman’s real plan. That maybe one day we won’t write the plan, you will.”
I have thoughts on the meaning of this line, but I will save my thoughts and allow you to draw your own conclusions.
February 20, 2011 § Leave a comment
Who Controls Your Happiness
“Some cause happiness wherever they go.” ~Oscar Wilde
As little girls, fairy tales teach us wait for Prince Charming to find us, fall in love with us, and then make all our dreams come true. Christian girls are taught the “he that findeth a wife findeth a good thing.” Over the years, young women have programmed ourselves to patiently wait for the men we care about to realize that they care about us too. We wait for weeks, months, years in hope that at the end of the waiting, we will be the happiest we’ve ever been.
Some us pursue other things, namely academics and careers. We tell ourselves that love will find us once we have our degrees and have begun our careers. While working toward these pursuits, we encounter men. Some of them are eager to start relationships, find a wife, and began working towards a life together. Most, however, are still exploring the world of women. Most are seeing what they can get away with. And we women (those of us who don’t end up with the few that are ready to commit in their early 20s) allow these men to dictate the pace of our relationships because that is what we are taught to do from birth. In the meantime, we are unhappy. We want more, but we are afraid to ask for it in fear that it will run him off. We compromise our religion, values and common sense in pursuit of some future happiness when we could be enjoying the world around us . . . when we could be happy, NOW!
It took me arriving at a great place in my life to realize that I truly am happy! My relationship with God is getting better everyday, my relationships with my family and friends are getting better everyday, I have a career that I love, and I wake up full of joy, everyday! I am not going to pretend like I don’t want to share my life, my joy, my love with someone else, but I understand more now than ever that my happiness is not contingent on man.
January 28, 2011 § Leave a comment
“We are all islands in a common sea.” ~Anne Morrow Lindbergh
I am an ISLAND! I am single, 26-year-old, dred-headed young professional, island.
Before you equate that statement with me being some weirdo recluse who has no family, no life and no friends, please give me a second to explain. In the grand scheme of eternity, 26 years is not a significant amount of time to learn anything. In terms of life spans, it is quite a bit of time to gain some wisdom, no matter how infinitesimal.
I have learned that God loves me something fierce! Every morning (for the most part) I wake up happy, full of joy, and ready to see what the day will bring. Every night, I reflect on what’s happened during the day. What I liked. What I didn’t. How tomorrow can be better. For the most part, my days consist of me conducting my various activities (work, reading, working out, etc.) alone. Even when alone, I am HAPPY! (i.e. a little ball of sunshine – or so I’ve been told).
I will invite almost everyone to the shores of my realm. I am very social, outgoing, bold, and unafraid! But to invite you into the heart of my world, the world where I am sensitive, insecure and desperately longing for approval, I have to really trust you.
From my constant state of tranquility, I can see all kinds of disasters or for the purposes of the metaphor of the blog, ship wrecks. Sometimes I don’t see them until they happen . Sometimes I can tell foreshadow the not so pleasant event. I can choose to get involved with the madness and chaos that occurs around me, or not. I can choose to try to make situations better (regardless of whether I contributed to them or not). I can dismiss people from my world if they are causing chaos (you’ve been voted off the island). And these choices are MINE alone.
This is my 3rd blog. The first, on MySpace, was primarily my teenage self expressing passive aggressive sentiments to my readers/friends/lovers. The second, Blogger, was my journey from the last year of college until the end of my law school career. And this one, well, this will be my grown up blog.
Welcome to Sunshine Island. I hope you enjoy!