I am Changing . . .

September 26, 2011 § Leave a comment

“Identity would seem to be the garment with which one covers the nakedness of the self, in which case, it is best that the garment be loose, a little like the robes of the desert, through which one’s nakedness can always be felt, and, sometimes, discerned.” ~James Baldwin

At my core, I am who am.  Throughout my life, I felt like perhaps my outside did not match my inside. Typically, I am only able to express my creativity, my uniqueness, and other intracacies through my shoes.  In the words of my godmother “My ego is in my shoes.”

Recently, I have decided to upgrade my health by getting to a healthy weight, making healthy choices, and revitalizing my healthy lifestyle.  I guess with success in weight loss (I am down to 215), comes the desire to change other things. For me, that is manifesting in a new interest in fashion, make up, and projecting my inner beauty everyday, not just on special occasions. I find myself reading fashion blogs, wanting to hit up the thrift store, Ross, TJ Maxx and other low cost fashionista options to change my wardrobe.

My co-worker is very thrity, but very fashionable. I’ve informed her that we will be taking a trip to the Smithfield outlets in October to spruce up my winter wardrobe.  She is on board.

When I first got my job, I was consumed with paying off debt, getting my finances on track, etc.  While I still have a little ways to go.  I think I have gotten to the point where doing something for myself a few times a month is required.  The past few weeks, travel has been at the top of that list.  Over the next few weeks it will be WARDROBE and MAKEUP.  Que . . .




These are a few of my least favorite things…

April 7, 2011 § 1 Comment

“Never neglect an opportunity for improvement”

~Sir William Jones

There are things about myself that I just don’t like:

  1. I am overweight.
  2. When I have a disagreement with friends or family, I assume that “they will need me before I need them” and seldom make efforts to “make it right.”
  3. I am a horrible listener.
  4. I like to be right. If I am right, I will go to extraordinary measures to make sure you know I am right. I will research to prove I am right. If I am wrong, rarely will I let you know.
  5. I curse like a sailor.
  6. I sincerely believe I am incapable of forgiving my father for what I deem as sub-par parenting.
  7. I am horrible at keeping up with friends, even the ones I love the most.
  8. I rarely finish what I start.
  9. I hate passive aggressive behavior directed at me, but will often direct it at others.
  10. I am very judgmental.

I have recognized these flaws in myself.  I have adopted a mantra of sorts that I will “Be a 1% better person today, then I was yesterday.”  In my mind, that means, if I say 1 less curse word today, I am making progress.  I have decided that I will use the remainder of my 20s to correct behavior that I have been getting away with since birth.  I don’t want to live the rest of my life with incomplete projects, interrupting others while they speak, or judging others. I want to live a life of love, friendship, and happiness. 

I have to start getting the debris of bad behavior off the island. After all, sunshine only illuminates garbage, it doesn’t make it prettier.

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