Who Controls Your Happiness?

February 20, 2011 § Leave a comment

Who Controls Your Happiness

“Some cause happiness wherever they go.” ~Oscar Wilde

As little girls, fairy tales teach us wait for Prince Charming to find us, fall in love with us, and then make all our dreams come true. Christian girls are taught the “he that findeth a wife findeth a good thing.” Over the years, young women have programmed ourselves to patiently wait for the men we care about to realize that they care about us too. We wait for weeks, months, years in hope that at the end of the waiting, we will be the happiest we’ve ever been.

Some us pursue other things, namely academics and careers. We tell ourselves that love will find us once we have our degrees and have begun our careers. While working toward these pursuits, we encounter men. Some of them are eager to start relationships, find a wife, and began working towards a life together. Most, however, are still exploring the world of women. Most are seeing what they can get away with. And we women (those of us who don’t end up with the few that are ready to commit in their early 20s) allow these men to dictate the pace of our relationships because that is what we are taught to do from birth.  In the meantime, we are unhappy.  We want more, but we are afraid to ask for it in fear that it will run him off. We compromise our religion, values and common sense in pursuit of some future happiness when we could be enjoying the world around us . . . when we could be happy, NOW!

It took me arriving at a great place in my life to realize that I truly am happy! My relationship with God is getting better everyday, my relationships with my family and friends are getting better everyday, I have a career that I love, and I wake up full of joy, everyday! I am not going to pretend like I don’t want to share my life, my joy, my love with someone else, but I understand more now than ever that my happiness is not contingent on man.

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